Bravo: Silicon Valley - The Drinking Game

Bravo just unleashed a trailer for “Start-Ups: Silicon Valley," to which there’s only one sane reaction: DRINKING GAME. We’re crowdsourcing the rules; tweet us your suggestions @cnnmoneytech. Here’s a start … 

Take a sip when:

  • Someone refers to programmers as “rock stars” 
  • Someone carries an iPad in one arm and a floofy little dog in the other
  • Randi Zuckerberg makes an appearance
  • Someone refers to a pitch meeting with VCs as “like, really really important”
  • "Coders" wander out of their natural habitat — cubicles — into Bravo’s natural habitat, nightclubs 
  • Someone orders an Uber cab (via show cast member @kimmytaylor)

Do a shot when:

  • Someone talks about IPOing a company that does not yet exist
  • A “business development session” is held poolside among bikini-clad strategizers 
  • Someone refers to Sean Parker, Kevin Rose, or anyone else with a decidedly mixed commercial track record as their entrepreneurial “idol” or “a legend” 
  • A startup executive leads a tour of their blinged-out “corporate crib” 

Swill the whole bottle when:

  • Someone actually writes a line of code

We may need a viewing party for the Nov. 5 kickoff. C’mon VCs, who wants to sponsor? -Stacy & Laurie

Decay had begun to show in some HP offices. Mice skittered in the corridors. Spiders fell from cracked ceilings. As the company cut back on trash pickups, detritus piled up, and in one location workers took garbage home in their cars. Upon arrival, Apotheker was informed that HP was missing 85,000 chairs.
Things at Hewlett-Packard were waaaay bad when Mark Hurd got ousted, according to a new Fortune investigation

Bizarre love tribute site from Léo Apotheker’s “biographer”

After getting deposed by two major tech companies — first SAP, then Hewlett-Packard — less than a year into his CEO tenure, Léo Apotheker has disappeared from the tech industry’s radar (aided, perhaps, by that one-way plane ticket HP offered to buy him back to France). 

Which may be for the best, if the “biography” SAP evangelist Caroline Olsen says she’s writing ever comes to light. She’s launched a website to promote the project, and it’s … well, let’s just say it’s reminiscent of the one that former Oracle president Charles Phillips’ mistress launched as a tribute to her “soulmate.” The one advertised on a billboard in Times Square

LeoApotheker-MyLife.com is a half-French, half-English hodgepodge of notes, quotes, photos, drawings and occasional rants by Olsen directed at the man whom she alternately describes as a business genius “capable of transforming clouds into stars" and a man "sitting on the ruins of his life" who has "never been his true self.”

So is this book going to be a behind-the-scenes-look at Apotheker’s decades at SAP, his abrupt end there, and his 11-month reign at an HP in turmoil?

From the site: “In reality, (almost) no one is interested in Leo Apotheker the businessman. The women surrounding him, however, are on the headlines.”

Ok then. Considering how Mark Hurd’s HP tenure ended, it’s probably best for HP that Apotheker is now nowhere near the headlines these days.  -Stacy

The change in presentation reflects, in our view, the challenges that participants in new industries confront in the application of accounting standards.
Groupon just dropped a late-Friday SEC filing restating its revenue for the first half of the year down from $1.5 billion to $688 million.  Because participants in “new industries” find GAAP (that stands for “generally accepted accounting principles”) very very tricky. 

Did Google’s lawyers see today’s doodle?

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Psst, Google: Congress is worried about you using your massive dominance in search to get your tentacles into other markets. So, on the very day when Eric Schmidt is due to testify in front of a Senate antitrust committee, it seems a tad unwise to slap a giant arrow on your homepage pointing from your search box (“market we own, VICTORY!”) to Google Plus (“market Facebook owns, booo hiss. Let’s steer all our search customers to our rival offering!”). -Stacy