This should exist: Apple iTorch upgrade plan


photo by p.Gordon

We’re upgrading a bunch of gizmos to iOS 6 today, including some (ancient! antique!) iPhone 3 GS phones. 

"When did Apple become the patron saint of backward compatibility?" I asked Dave. I mean, they’re still selling and supporting the two-generations-old iPhone 4. My impression had always been that Steve Jobs would have loved to push a button and immolate all old devices the moment a new one was launched.

Then Dave and I realized: Hey, Apple could sell this service. Call it iTorch. For $99 a year, Apple will nuke your old iThings the moment a new one is released. In exchange, you’ll be guaranteed a pre-sale spot in the very first round of shipments of the new iToy — no languishing for a month like those suckers who waited a whole three hours to order. 

C’mon, Apple, announce this. Take the stock to $1,000. -Stacy


The horked off customer here writes (excellent) novels which very frequently feature serial killers doing unspeakably grim things. I’m guessing Bad Things will happen in an upcoming one to a Sprint executive or two … 


I’m venting here, so bear with me.

I moved to California two months ago, as some (assuming anybody out there ever even reads this) will know. The sharper and more au courant of you may also have picked up that pre-orders started for the new iPhone last week. As a certifiable Apple stalker of…

TKTKTK billions line up to enter glass cube, emerge $200 poorer
That’s the dummy headline Apple beat reporter Dave Goldman, who is off Friday, put on the b-matter he left prepped in the CMS for those of us who will be covering tomorrow’s on-sale launch of the iPhone 4S. I suspect the published copy will run with a different headline. -Stacy